10/8/09

The Endless Pursuit

I recently found a little bit of harmony to one of the most madly driven exciters of life. When you break it off with a significant other, most of the time (at least in my case) you end up very distant, and sometimes very hateful towards one another. There are actually many positive sides to this; you don't have any emotional stressers or anxiety of loneliness as you are more easily compelled to get through the next "hump" in the road, it makes future encounters less awkward, and finally it leaves you without any subconscious feelings of obligation, yay!


On another note, I've been trying to increase my awareness upon my social surroundings. It is too easy to emphasise your public experience on the negative entities that cross your paths, and sometimes hard to take them out of your peripheral perception. In this case it is best to do the opposite of what you would normally be told to do: "be the better man". Act like the smallest of children who see the nonsense in front of them as a joke, and laugh and giggle as if it were never real or memorable in the first place. Reverse psychology is amazing.


Presenting the world with an embalmment of curious antics a gluttonous, but altruistic way of elucidation.


Things on my mind:

The south has a lot more culture than the whole "southern accent" schpeal.

I wish I had a lot of money.

I want to gain weight physically, and psychologically.

I am quite content to be completely THROUGH with my learning portion of my military life.

I can't wait to start taking college classes again and meet actual intellectuals and maybe go to real "parties".

I am going to miss mountain biking, but snowboard season is coming up and I have a lot of newbies to train!

My sister is slowly becoming more like my mother and me like my father (kind of swapping roles).

I'm obsessed with food, and its monopoly month at madonna's (the Hispanic way to say McDonalds).

I want to see some live music when I come home, I don't care what, and I can't wait to see all my friends again, I'm already planning parties at my moms house I don't care what she says, I shall be considerate towards her scholastic obligations (which I am proud of her every day for pursuing).

Fantasy Football.

My dream girls: Nikki Gudex (pro mtn biker) / Kyra Gracie (MMA bad ass)

Scrabble is the shit, boardgames are way under rated.

I can't wait to move into my own place when I get back from Afghanistan and have another beagle/boxer mix.

That is all.

P.S. Girls need to stop hitting on me in such nonchalant manners. I either think its a trick, a joke, or I'm completely oblivious to it and get shit for it later on. Seriously if you think I am that fantastic fucking tell me (pardon mi france`)





8/17/09

No reprise

Life is good. Linking to optimism is crucial, as well as disregard for pain and sadness, the 2 things the world we live in today will try it's hardest to avoid. Learning that negativity is inevitable will produce a priceless awareness that can help tackle problems forever. Neutrality is key and that has been said before. Why strive for a "normal" life when what flows the best is something that can confront with all laws of nature? Don't take that the wrong way, If life is amazing you don't have to be pessimistic, just think about the bad times from the past and be grateful for the full-fledged "live" experience that is often referred to as a "high". When the days and times are bad you have nothing else to look forward to but the 'morrows and the minutes passing ahead of you, and again remember the past that you once experienced in your so-called prime time.

History was taught for a reason. Subconsciously we connect to greatness through the past, it's good to set goals but it can never be expected. We have wants and needs and sometimes it is proper to apply factors of natural instincts that can greatly represent why terms like "human nature" are often excuses for why we do the things we do.

I personally hate history, yet I still find myself reading about the past the most.

8/12/09

Mediating momentary momentous meditations.

Very important to learn this skill.

Basshunter - All I ever wanted (no homo)

Often the common realization can be pursued in all the wrong ways. Deep thinkers ironically carry the ability to construe their moods into an exaggeration of mental coordinates far from what is a true awareness of immediate environmental surroundings (mostly intellectually speaking but also visceral and topographically). True peace is an eligible candidate as far as moods go when you can tame the oscillations into your life. Ebb and flow.... To be continued....

Today, my being, my persons, my aura, and me were nowhere near each other. It was like I was a glass of lemonade (90% lemon juice, 9% sugar, and 1% water), and the world around me was a man who had spent his last dollar on a tall glass of lemonade being sold from innocent looking toddlers as he was cruising on his bicycle on his way home from work taking a stress relieving detour due to a bad day. Translation: I was sour and tart, and the world around me was pissed not at me, but the mysteriously unidentifiable ninja-like toddlers...

Self control isn't hard right? Well when you step back and try and take a look at life in third person, sometimes you'll realize that consciously you have self control, but when your subconscious kicks in, you don't. So what's the solution? Play more third person video games and get used to that perspective of life. Just kidding! That would be no fun, how would you even begin to learn how to control your dreams? Seriously though, I made a mental list of "happy places" (not enthusiastically happy places) that are a part of my daily routine.

SLEEP
Breakfast (cereal)
Working out (gym, bike, run)
Shower (hot)
Brushing the teeth
Work (gotta love your job)
Lunch
Dinner
Meditation
Jammage (music)
Sex (if I have a partner(gf/fb))

Imagine if you shut the door to your house (locked) and you forgot your keys.... it's almost catastrophic, and will seriously irritate you because you feel irresponsible. Well that's where the ebb and flow comes into play. If you miss anything that you find simply achievable in your day, your gonna be crooked. It makes sense, and a lot of people try to tell you "hey man don't let it get to you" but I personally think you shouldn't have to repress anything.

8/7/09

Boobie trap

I fell in.

Coheed & Cambria - Welcome Homen {Use genius for this one and you'll get a great mix.}

I am finally hitting another growth spurt. I've been going to the gym, and finally I weigh 180 lbs which I've been trying to hit for about 4 years now. So I've been told for many years now, as I get older, I will become more and more of an 'item' for the ladies. I guess it's coming true and there are a few things I'm still in a lack of understanding with. I know its stupid to even make the smallest attempt at understanding the opposite sex, but the one saying that is almost antagonizing one to go for it.

So what I don't understand is where common courtesy got lost in conversation. Technology offers one convenience of the whole "I'll get back to you" thing, with text messaging, e-mail, and social networks such as facebook and myspace. With text messaging your never certain if the message was recieved on the other end becasue of the excusable commonly unreliable service. So lets say with doubt of that excuse; you send an inviting text message, or a question concerned with anothers well being, and you never get a reply. What is that supposed to mean? Why does the other end sometimes send the same text message twice in a row if you don't respond fast enough? These are all variables that I cannot compute with and will categorize them into a new "mathematics" called "Neo-Dating". It basically seems like an insecurity and a security at the same time. Apparently you text the person back 90% of the time because you are intrigued by their intrests. The other 10% of the time in which you do not respond is very rude, narcissistic and quite honestly an abuse that portrays manipulating characteristics. This starts a game, whether or not you (the male) has gotten in their (the female) pants, it remains a challenge to conquer and come out on top, regardless of the stressful drama that everyone complains about and exxaggerates. What happend to 2-way conversation? Weren't the 90's the era where women were starting to come out on top and the focal point of independence? Why does a male have to drive a nice car, pay for every date, and be well composed in dating etiquette (being a player) to come out on top and have a woman at his heels? Things are wrong, deuschebags always win, and nice guys finish last. Answer me why women have strayed from their dominant desires into co-dependent corners dizzy with confusion.

Here is my protocol:

*I see a girl that I feel indimidated by due to their attractiveness.
*I either do, or don't have the confidence (balls) to approach them.
*I engage in conversation, try to get to know the girl as much as possible with an incognito twist so it doesn't seem like im desperate.
*I decide whether or not I feel like I can make their life better by taking them out on a date and letting them subconciously know that I am quite possibly interested in a more personable experience with them (not sex)(yet).
*I ask them for their number, and depending on the time of day I wait untill the appropriate 'non-desperate' time to send a text message telling them the experience meeting them was nice.
*If they reply with interest, I ignore further texting, and choose to call them in a couple days to inquire on their availability to go out for an evening, most likely dinner but I will settle with a movie.
*After the date (which I never kiss on the first date, I have respect), I will never text back, they are always the first to text back, becasue if they like me and want to do it again as badly as I, they should be anxious enough to do so.
*If I get a second date, I try to get creative with something to do, in order to impress them and let them get to know me on a real level and project a scenario perfect for the 'first kiss'
*Third date means we're dating (and I will drop my drawers given the right scenario) and from there if I don't like them, I am HONEST, I will tell them that I don't see it going any further than what it is, but I obviously like the way things have been going and either keep dating (and 'love making') or just be friends.

Where am I going wrong, and why is a communicative negligent dating status right?